10 Signs that He's not the 1!

Some people say they "just knew" that they were dating their future spouse. But what about the rest of us? What happens when you're not sure if he's The One? If you're considering long-term commitment or marriage, it's time to ask yourself some tough questions. Below, 10 signs that may indicate he's not for you.

1. You have a list of things he needs to stop doing/saying/wearing if he wants your relationship to work. If you're fixating on his flaws, he's either not the one you want or you're not ready for a serious relationship. Cutting him loose allows you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet a guy whose flaws you can embrace -- or at least accept.

2. You don't trust him. A small dose of jealousy can be healthy, but if you're hacking into his email account, and going berserk when he goes out without you, something's wrong. If there's something about him that truly warrants your distrust, then perhaps he's not the right one for you.

3. You avoid conflict at any cost. Fighting is healthy. And, when done right (in the non-accusatory, rational sort of way), it can be a great way to air grievances, fix problems in your relationship, and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is not the same as having no problems at all... even if it looks that way.

4. When you're sad, you don't turn to him for comfort.When you're a giant ball of tears and snot, do you lock yourself into the bathroom so he can't see you at your worst? If you're worried about scaring him away, one of you isn't ready for total commitment. Mr. Right should make you smile through your tears and be a calming, not stressful, presence.

5. One of you is struggling with an addiction. He's sweet. He's exciting. He loves you very much. But he loves his alcohol habit or his weekly gambling fix more. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can change him or that your relationship will be strong enough to withstand the heartache that addiction will inevitably bring. An addict may be able to change, but he'll do so on his own terms.

6. You can't really imagine him as the father of your children. Ask yourself: Would he make a great parent? Is he financially responsible? Would he be an equal partner in your future together? If you have doubts, he's probably not the one.

7. Your long-term, non-negotiable goals in life are incompatible. You want kids; he doesn't. You go to church every week; he's an atheist. He lives in the country and doesn't want to move; you can't imagine ever leaving the city. Superficial differences can be overcome, but differences in basic values are harder to smooth over. Ask yourself: "Would I be willing to compromise on this?" If the answer is absolutely not, you may not be right for each other.

8. You don't respect each other. He puts you down in front of your friends and complains about you to his parents. You roll your eyes when he talks because there's just something about him that embarrasses you. A relationship without respect can't sustain itself.

9. You're not attracted to him. Physical intimacy is a hugely important component of a romantic relationship. If he doesn't do it for you, he's probably not your best long-term match.

10. On paper he seems great, but you have this strange feeling... Don't ignore your gut. You may get along on a superficial level, but if your instincts are telling you he's not the one for you, listen. That little voice inside your head does not lie.

How to score a good ukay finds...

I'm a bonafide fashionista at my class...er...school? Not sure. But I do get compliments on my getup and second takes from other people whenever I'm out.
Also, since I've been raised to be frugal (although I LOVE fashion and wardrobes, cute dresses and shopping), I manage my budget to get the best of fashion at the lowest possible price.


Tip #1: Look for a good ukay store. Hunt for shops and check them out. The best pieces I have in my wardrobe were found on good stores. A good ukay store has their own space, fitting room and, most of the time, air conditioning system. But that's not always the case because some stores doesn't have any but you can tell it's a good store if you...

Tip#2: Look at the displays. If most of the displays are good, most likely, it will have pieces that are in mint condition at most and, find good and really cute pieces that compliment your body shape (since ukay-ukays are from other countries, it most likely will have the cutest pieces for different sizes).

Tip#3: Check for the color quality. More color = less likely used. But some pieces are still good even if it looked like it's been washed and worn for months or so. Depends on the fabric, of course. I have a few good ones that look only slightly used, or the kind of fading you see in tiangges, but it's still better because you should also...

Tip#4 Check the fabric quality. Some fabrics are hard to find here and can only be found abroad. Usually, these fabrics are used and can only be found clothes bought in high-end boutiques here. Good luck. Also, there are fabrics that look great on chubby people. Then there are also fabrics that show the slightest hint of flab in the wrong places, even if you're already stick thin. The clothes fabric is also a good indicator of how long you can wear the outfit. Just like skin shows the "age", you can tell until when the color will stay, how long will it wear and tear, and the impressionability of the piece.

Tip #5: Create a target look AND bring your own unique style. Of course, that goes without saying. But some shoppers head to the store without a vision in mind. Whenever I go ukay-hunting, I head there with an idea. If I want a summer look, I opt for sheer mini-dresses/long blouses (since I'm short, they look like dresses on me. Hehehe! ). Or, sometimes I look for "victorian" look. Sometimes, "black pants" are my target. The point is, never go there aimlessly or else, you'll find yourself disappointed when you get home.

Tip#6: Try them on! Although this is a bit nasty, or gross (especially to OC's). But the thing is, some clothes look great on the hanger and it JUST might be your size. However, There are uncertainties on how they will look once you've worn them. Trust me. These pieces does not work on a standard size and always bear in mind that these are probably rejects or has some sort of fatal flaw. Why else would they be sent off? I've had my fair share. I once bought these great pair of pants and it looks really great. But the thing was, the stitches that made the design were really itchy. No, it wasn't because of some bacteria. It's because the stitches were made with silver thread. The rough kind pf metallic thread. And it runs all the way from waist to foot. Too bad. But, I've had a LOT of pieces that looked blah on the hanger, but looks UBER on me. Hehe!:D

Tip #7: Lookout for sales and new arrivals. Once you've established your fave ukay store, you can now put something on your calendar for bargain hunting. If you want to score a LOT of great finds, lookout for new arrivals. Downside: Prices no less than 200. If you want to save more though, you can wait for sales. Their prices can go from 200+ to 70(blouse price). Anyway, some good pieces don't really get bought until the sale. Downside: less to choose from, and if you've been eyeing a piece there before the sale, prepare for yourself for disappointment. If you want to choose the first, prepare a lot of money. If the latter, it's best if you head there with no actual target piece. Just head there on a whim if you have extra allowance, of course.

Tip#8: Be patient AND impulsive. Yup, you've read right. Adamant searching is key to finding great pieces. With the number of clothes hanging there, you are bound to find at least one. If you can't, don't linger and find it somewhere else. The search is not over! And, it's not the only store. You've searched, right?


Tip #9: Double-check for noticeable or irreparable damage. If it's dirty, fine. If it's stained, ask yourself "can I remove it?". If it's stained in a visible part, forget it. If there's a small rat nip, fine. If there's a slightly bigger rat nip, repair. If it's beyond repair, forget it. Practicality should be applied. This might take a while, so always keep in mind Tip#8.

Tip#10: If it doesn't feel right, forget it. If you're second-guessing whether you'd buy it or not, DON'T DO IT! You will find yourself not ACTUALLY using it at all and wasting money. Unless of course you're second-guessing because:

a. you don't have any more money
b. there are two (or more) great pieces and you can't decide which one

Other than that, don't buy it. Period.


Well, that's just about everything I learned (and remembered) for now. My brain's starting to bleed. If I ever miss out on anything else, just share it, please.