Goodbye 2007

Well 2007 here we are at the end of the road..., it is time to ring out the old and bring in the new. As I have grown older this does not seem to be such a dramatic deal, it is just the end of another year and the beginning of a new one. It is learning how to write 2008 instead of 2007, not much more.
So, while 2007 has been grand, it is time to move on, and so I say good-bye to you old year, bring on the New Year.

I wish for you all a wonderful, and prosperous year. May 2008 be great!

GUESTLIST

Today is the last day of our current year. A lot of people will spend this day reflecting back and setting new goals for a new year. Some will look back, stay there and wallow for awhile. Awhile is ok. Trying to live there is not.

It is said regret is the most tiresome of companions. I couldn't agree more. So why bring him along for a new year? Let him find his own party. You have a party hat to put on, noisemakers and fireworks to share, bubbly to drink and, as one my friends put it, tables to dance on. What are you waiting for? If you need a companion, take Gratitude along with you. No matter where you are or what you're doing, she makes a great buddy. Cultivate her friendship and learn to hang out with her-you won't be sorry.

If you still don't feel that's enough, ask Laughter to come along too. He's also a wonderful companion, likes Gratitude and is willing to share with all. No party, no new year, no life is complete without him.

And if you're still struggling with letting Regret off the hook and insist on having a difficult party guest, how about inviting Forgiveness to take his place? The most difficult and yet, the most sought out guest of them all. He won't come unless Gratitude is there and he can't come unless you beg him, but he will come. And he will bring Peace. And he will open doors for you, escort you to all the needed places and always be there when you need him. But you will always have to ask. You have to think you deserve his company before you get it.

None of these things are constant companions. We have to make an concentrated effort (at least at first) to keep them, while Regret doggedly follows us anywhere anytime. He's up for anything and usually brings along Sorrow and Sarcasm for extra company. And I might point out that all of them absolutely despise Laughter and simply cannot be in the same room as Gratitude, Forgiveness and Peace. So who's it gonna be? The list is yours to make.

Happy New Year everyone.

Another thing called CHANGE!

STEP 1: CHANGE YOUR LOOK

It's been said over and over again that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. But fact is, people often do. It's only natural; even in nature, sometimes perception is more important than reality. Animals change their appearance so other animals will think they're forecast or the most harmless (before unleashing their deadly fangs).

STEP 2: CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER

Your reputation is what people say about you; your character is who you really are. To truly change how people see you, you have to become the person you want to be. And unlike a new outfit you can instantly appear different, changing your ways will take longer and more effort.

STEP 3: CHANGE YOUR CROWD

One saying that people do take to heart is that birds of a feather flock together. Hang out with the right crowd, and their REP becomes your REP--you're suddenly Ms. Popular without having to do a thing.

STEP 4: CHANGE YOUR MINDSET

If the only reason you want to change your image is 'cause you're obsessed about what others think of you, you may find yourself on a never-ending wildgoose chase for perfection and acceptance. Hey, you can't please everyone, and there will always be talk as people try to fit you into the mold of what they want you to be.

Teen Pregnancy

In the International Herald Tribune, "everymen" interviewed about Spears' pregnancy implied that since Jamie Lynn announced her pregnancy she has become dirty, wrong, bad and awful. That's a pretty shitty way of saying "Congratulations."

Look, teen pregnancy happens. It happens to stupid, girls with low self-esteem and marginal aspirations. It also happens to smart, motivated young women with big plans for their life. It would be nice if for about five seconds people could stop hissing at teenage mamas and instead provide them with the tools to succeed at their goals. When you get down to it they need the same thing that every mama needs, good healthcare, decent jobs and education, happy childcare and a support system. All needs that aren't being met for the majority of mothers in this country, regardless of age.

The problems of motherhood are amplified for teen mothers in part because they are a discrete and easily identifiable demographic group. And because teen mothers are widely regarded as less than people, the public and state feel they have a right to stick their noses in Little Cindy Slutpants' business. For her own good, of course.

And one thing bothers me above all else in the blogs and comments that I have read about Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy, no one is addressing the fact that she is not a typical sixteen year old girl. She is a highly successful sixteen year old girl with the economic, familial and intellectual resources to raise a child. In fact she has more of these resources than most women who delay childbearing.

Despite what you have heard, sixteen year olds are not inherently bad parents just like thirty year olds are not inherently good parents. I mean I'm not crazy about "Teens Trying to Conceive" and if my daughter came to me pregnant I would recommend that she get an abortion, but I'm a feminist and I do believe she has a right to that choice herself.

The best way we can help teen moms is not to wipe them off the face of the earth or starve them into abusive relationships or call them names. The best way we can help them is to treat them with respect and dignity, fight for universal healthcare and adequate childcare for the poor. We can help by not throwing them out and accusing them of worthlessness just because they aren't of voting age. The very best way we can help is by always remembering they are somebody's mother.

Shooting Stars

Sometimes we meet someone and there is a click, a connection, a spark. Sometimes that connection is so strong that it pulls you together against all the odds. Sometimes the spark is so intense it can set things on fire. Then sometimes the very thing that brought you together in the first place ends up driving you apart. Finally, sometimes the separation is more intense than the connection. Do the most intense things in life last the shortest because that is all as human beings we can endure? Are we forever doomed to chase after the shooting star just before it is snuffed out?

The person I have grown the closet to since he moved to Pennsylvania, USA our friendship has faded away. Our friendship had a spark from the very beginning. It was a fast and furious journey. It was charged with emotion and attraction, but the very thing that brought us together has now pushed us apart. I have to admit that our friendship was a little one sided. The fact that I was attracted to him was a problem from the very beginning. As our relationship evolved it became more and more apparent how easily I could be manipulated because of how I felt. Now months later the flame that was our friendship has been extinguished. I'm not sure how or why, but it has happen. As I sit here tonight I have to wonder what is next for me. My closest friend since I moved here is now as distant as any stranger on the street. I once told a friend back East that this new friendship was wonderful and all, but that it was also a distraction. The spark was so intense I have not been able to see clearly. Perhaps now without the glare of his friendship I can move on and find the life that I am supposed to be living.

I will miss him and may be we can be friends again some day, but for now I will look for a new shooting star and may be this time I will wear shades.

a sweet THOUGHT

"When God knows that you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances..."

Let -X be

…like melodies are to musicians… that is what math is to me.

I find comfort in figures, numbers, logic, patterns,

trying to find solutions, knowing that there IS one.

No matter how long it takes me – no matter how many steps I have to take –

No matter how little I know of it – there is always the assurance

that an answer exists. It’s only a matter of getting to it. Eventually you do…

it flows… most of the time, it is effortless for me to understand something.

If I don’t, it isn’t difficult to try. It’s not exhausting – not energy-sucking.

Predictable, but not routinary – the basis of every theory

that exists is consistent – the methods differ.

You are reflected in the way your reasoning flows.

You all get there – only using different routes.

You can always find any unknown.

When in doubt, you can discover other ways to be sure.

When you make even just one wrong turn along the way,

you will NEVER arrive at an accurate conclusion.

The answers are in black in white, never in gray.

Your methods consist of a combination of everything

you have known in the past.

Everything is cumulative – everything relates to each other –

everything applies to something else. No branch of it is a “stand alone”

ambivalence

Sometimes we just want to delete few things in our own lives, thinking we might have lived it better....but do we really? aren't they a part of what we are today?

why do we want to forget these people...is it because we are still in pain? but then again, the ambivalent thing about it is, why do we still want to be so much a part of their lives knowing that we or they fucked up? why are we still related, knowing that the communication already has ended? why are we still affected hearing that they hurt, they are out there happy but lonely?

why do we care so much? is it because we just want to meddle with their life? is it because we are control freaks? is it because we enjoy the thrill of chase, is it because you don't want the friendship to die or it is because we just want the best thing for them even when you know you will never be a part of their success anymore...you just want to stand from afar and cheer for them and be proud that once you were a part of that person.

but do they care? No!!! They don't know, so why do we care? we explicitly ignore them, but they simply eat your thoughts.

Loved a starfish!

A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer, he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up, and throwing it out into the water. Time and again, he kept hurling something out into the ocean.

As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had washed up on the beach and, one at a time, was throwing them back into the water.

Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good evening, friend. I was wondering what you are doing?"

"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it is low tide right now, and all of these starfish have washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw them back into the sea, they'll die from lack of oxygen."

"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach! You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many! And don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast? Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The local native smiled, bent down, and picked up yet another starfish and, as he threw it back into the sea, replied, "Made a difference to THAT one!"

Our Last day in Macau

I was just kidding Kuya Aries to take me somewhere because it's our last day there and he agreed that he will take us to Guia Hill. It was just a walking distance from their place and the cable ride is like 3 patakas(15php) The beautiful garden at the entrance greeted us on our way. We hike uphill because the trail is very beautiful and you can see the lush park with birds and monkeys and many more. The view at the top is breathtaking. I am not kidding. You can see half of Macau and you'll appreciate its beauty even more when you are at the top of Guia Hill. The city skyline is the best and amazing view. The forestry are also a historical landmark and you'll learn a lot while you walk. Then we played at the exercise center. We took a lot of pictures. By the way, I didn't sweat on my way to the top because its so cold. LOL! The We had our firs ever cable car ride. ^_^ I have fun.. super fun. But in a few hours we will be on our way to Manila. Back to reality again..

Macau Day 4

We went to esprit. Guess what I didn't buy anything because I am so thrifty. Darn I fell in love with the red jacket that is exactly my size and didn't even buy it.. But ate and kuya shop so many items. Then we went to San Malo to shop again. Then we ate at a Potuguese restaurant in Taipa courtesy of Mr. Martin of course. I ate my first ever medium rare steak and it was delicious.. Super... The we went to Venetian Hotel again and now I am ready to discover Venetian. The hotel was 100% amazing. With the ceiling murals that looked like a skyline and the gondolas and the posh boutiques and shops and restaurants.. It totally wowed me. Ate, bought a tifanny necklace that caused a hefty 5000 pataka(25000php). That's a lot of money! I will not spend that much on a piece of jewelry. It was kuya's gift to her. And kuya lost 90, 000 on the casino.. That's super so much money to loose in gambling. I don't even have the guts to spend 500pesos for a blouse much more to a casino. Well at the end of the day you'll realize you can't turn back the time. And no matter what you do you lost it already so just move on with that!

Macau Day 3

We went to McDonald's for lunch. I was amazed again. The interior was very chick. And take note the food servers are oldies. Yeah you are reading it right. Like my mom's age 40+. I was really happy that the Macau people still have the opportunity to work even if they are old. Unlike here if you are old you have to stay home and just watch tv and chitchat outside. But there they are taking pride of it.. I salute them for that. Then afterwards we went to the flea market to hunt for some good stuffs that are cheap and fashionable. Then we went to San Malo, Fishermans Wharf and Taipan.

Guess what every hotel chains got a complimentary bus from the ferry station. When I say its complimentary its free.. Then we went to Ate's friend Mr. Martin. His house is super gorgeous. Every corner is gold. Its much more of a presidential suite. And their place is considered to be for upscale individual only because its super expensive. Then Mr. Martin treated us to the special restaurant nearby for shabu shabu. Its the #1 shabu-shabu restaurant in town. And I brought my magic spoon and fork again. hehehe.. I wasn't embarass at all even if the person in front of me are elite. His family is so nice and warm and his 2 nephews calvin and his bro are so goodlooking. Super goodlooking and take note they speak tagalog perfectly. ^_^ But the only problem with Mr. Martin is he wants to feed and feed and feed and feed. He won't let your plate go empty. So even if you say your full you can't say no because I am afraid I might offend him if you won't eat because he is the one serving foods on our plate. :(

After that super delectable dinner and fullness.. We head to Venetian Hotel and the bad part of it was I am not feeling well. So I went to the CR and puke. And i felt better after that. So.. so.. Even if Kuya wanted to stay longer and me to scoured the beautiful and most talk about hotel, ate decided to go home. So I can rest.

Hongkong Day Trip

My Day 2 in Macau, and immediately we took a side trip in Hongkong. It was almost afternoon when we left. geez.. The ferry ride was so cool but kinda expensive though It cost me 150hkd for a one way ride. But heck it was worth it. Me, my ate and kuya dict got a separate seat # and I end up sitting up with a chinese woman. She was nice but when I asked her about the toilet she cannot understand me. :(( My bladder is about to explode any minute and the ferry is finishing up boarding all the passengers. After 5minutes of describing about my nature call she immediately finger point the toilet. And as I was finishing up in the toilet the ferry was blasting its motor. I was a bit afraid that I might end up stuck in the toilet so I hurried up. When I was on my sit the very good lady gave me an embarkation card for hongkong the problem was I don't have a pen. I lost it somewhere. So i have to borrow the crews pen instead. Then when we arrive at the Hongkong ferry terminal another problem arise. The immigration officer won't let kuya dict in because she is asking some documents and kuya don't have it with him. So we immediately live the line. And the ferry police talked to us and asks some questions. The problem again was language barrier. Darn.. They can't even tell what documents they in english so we don't know what is the problem. Why they can't let Kuya in. Good this there is a filipino guy who happened to pass by and asks what's wrong and we told him the synopsis of the problem and the filipino guy said that all you need is the old embarkation that was given at the airport. But kuya don't have it because he was in Macau for almost 3 months and he threw his copy away because he never thought he might need it again. Super thanks to the filipino guy and no thanks to the police and immigration officer..

We finally entered Hongkong's Kowloon ferry station.. it was so pretty. A ferry station inside a mall is a brilliant idea. It's not just a typical mall but it was high end. Its similar with Shangrila-Mall in EDSA. So.. so.. We proceed to the MTR because we are heading to Mongkok to shop at the ladies market. I just bought a few souvenir items, a bag, a few silver jewelry and a chinese dress for my niece. Because I still find everything expensive. But my ate bought a lot as in a lot. She's a certified shopaholic. Then we ate at a nearby kiosk and it was delicious. And mind you I brought my own fork and spoon because I don't know how to use the chopstick. LOL! Then, when we decided to go home. We almost miss the ferry back it was like 2minutes before the ferry will sail and we are running and rushing to the first ferry terminal because they will leave us any minute and it was the last ferry to macau i think... It was like joining the extra challenge or the amazing race. whew!

My tips for the day is:
1. Bring ballpen
2. Always keep your travel documents with you especially embarkation card
3. Carry loose change
4.Wear comfortable clothing
5. Ready yourself to the walkaton

My first ever Macau trip

My flight to macau was exactly 8pm today Nov. 22, 07. But I arrived to the airport at past 5pm so I can check-in earlier and I am going to wait for my cousin there. Since I arrived early I did go to the OFW center just to sit and let the time passed by since I don't know where are the sitting area for the passengers that haven't checked-in yet. So there. I know I can loiter at the OFW center and at the same time I can watch a cable channel tv. While waiting for the flight monitors schedule. The OFW center was a nice place to be with while waiting. There are a food stalls which of course pricey but I'm sure you will not mind the price if you are hungry. Many pinay FA's often went to the center as well while waiting for their flight. Anyhow, I do love this center because I am fond of watching people and observing people. That's why when I was younger I dreamed of working in the airport so I can see the people just come and go. Thats when I realize I wanted to be just like them. Come and go for a job and not just stuck here in the Philippines forever.

so.. so.. My cousin arrived past 6pm and we checked-in immediately at cebu pacific counter and we chitchat. And the lady of the cebu pacific counter asked me If I have sufficient funds to travel. I found the question absurd.. Totally! Who in the right mind will travel without sufficient money. I was shocked to know that the terminal fee increased from 700 to 750php. What is that for? That's too much. Other countries don't even ask for a fee and yet their airport is very posh and sophisticated. Oh well, if we want to travel might as well bear with it. So there, our flight was delayed. Arrgh. I am too excited to see Macau and yet the flight is delayed. Hell.. We arrived at almost 12 midnight and it was so chilly. super.. brrr... The place is so clean. The only problem we have was the communication problem. They hardly speak English as in. Including the roadsigns are Chinese. Darn! There are lights sparkling everywhere. And the place is so lively. It is truly a beautiful night attraction. Well, when we arrived at Kuya Dicts place I was mesmerized when I saw that they are living in a posh condo with 3 bedroom 2bathroom a large veranda. And even if its cold in macau every room has aircondition including the sala...

Hey, it's kinda late. I might as well sleep.

He's a stranger

Something have left my life and i don't know where it went to...All the things she said to me changed my perspective in every way.

i'd rather be six feet under...than bear the thought that she's no longer the person i knew she was...

i had the only precious thing i ever possessed and placed in a pedestal...now everything seem to be dark and empty.

i don't know her face anymore or feel the person that i adore.

i don't know his thoughts these days, we're strangers in an empty space.

i don't understand his heart nor mine, we might as well be strangers in another time.

everybody's changing and i just thought he will ALWAYS be the same.

i just wished i hadn't known the changes in his, as it hurts me more than she could imagine and it will...forever.

he fought so much for his ground that it looped back on him...despite all our bickerings i respected and adored him for all that he fought for...but now, i don't know anymore. My mind is utterly twisted with the complexities of love and life!

FOREVER?

Forever is just a word. Nothing lasts forever. You have to be stupid, and naive to ever think the one you love will always be there for you. No matter how hard you try, it will never happen. No matter how hard you try to make that other person happy, or try and work it out... you'll fail. I used to think very optimistically about everything and everyone. It was a good quality, seeing the best in people. But now I've realized, the worst in them just outshines sometimes and you have to live with it. Looking up just means it'll hurt worse when you're brought down. Right now in my life, I should be out having fun... not being in love. Who needs love, anyway? It's just another excuse to be controlled and hurt. Maybe someday I'll find the person who I'm meant to be with in this world, but until then - fuck it all. I'm letting the real Weng shine once again, so girls hold onto your guys... I'm back on the market.

Trust

The most important factor in any relationship. To be nerdy and oh so analogical; relationships are like a video game. You start at the bottom with little or no information. As you make your way through dungeons and forests, or levels and stages, you earn points or power or any substance that helps you progress further into the game. You battle opponents both small and large and some can even be considered bosses: The big baddies. If you are able to defeat them, you earn more of that substance. Trials and tribulations are those dungeons and forests. Exes and wrongdoers are the opponents. Trust is that substance. In order for a relationship to grow stronger, you must earn their trust.

Nobody turns to a stranger and says "I have insane explosive diarrhea and occasionally can be found tied up as a gimp while my girlfriend whips me" and manages to find a new best friend. Unless they're a freak. And so are you. (And no, I don't have explosive diarrhea. As for being a gimp...well leather is kind of comfortable. SIKE!JK) We don't start off that way. Because the fact is we all have a side we're afraid to show someone else for fear they may a)reject us or b)ridicule us. It is only through many experiences and connections can we truly be at peace with ourselves to share our deepest darkest secrets.

In my mind, there are pretty much four levels of trust:

- Acquaintance: Someone you are familiar with. A person you might see every now and then but actually have very little knowledge of their past, their present or their possible future. And likewise, they neither know yours.
- Friend: Someone you enjoy being around. It may or may not be often but the experience is usually joyous when you do. A person you've spoken to a number of times and have broken through that acquaintance wall.
- Confidant: A person who knows your past, your present and your sought out future. The person you usually turn to when in need or seek help from. They are your brethren, your kindred spirits. Someone you see as a life long friend.
- Soul Mate: Your significant other. Someone who has delved deep into your soul. Someone who knows you truly for who you are and loves every part of it. A person who does not give and expect to receive and thus who has no ulterior motive other than to enjoy your happiness along with theirs.

For most people, they usually have a cap or limit as to how much they are willing to trust someone. A glass ceiling so to speak. Most are acquaintances, some are friends, fewer are confidants. And there can only be one soul mate.

But what happens if trust is broken? It is a rough road back to stability if that moment ever arrives. When I picture it, I symbolize trust as a rope. It starts off as one thread. It's thin, lanky and easy to break. But then it begins to weave together with others. Soon there are layers, hundreds of threads wrapped around each other making it more and more difficult to sever. Eventually, thousands. And it is nearly indestructible. But it isn't.

The problem with trust is that when it is broken at the confidant and soul mate level, it usually results in anarchy. Destruction of the mind, body and spirit. It is truly one of the most painful experiences a person can go through and it usually invokes a change of character when all is said and done. And almost always, the change is contempt. Not for others but for the feeling. It frightens people to experience it again. So much so that they begin to close off certain levels of trust. They build walls around their heart and minds. It becomes locked away, sheltered by a huge fortress. And they become distrusting.

This is the path to the dark side. LOL couldn't resist. I read my own writing very dramatically.

But that's how most people become and you can't blame them. I'm not like that; I can't be. I'm optimistic and light hearted. I like to believe that all the risks of being hurt are always worth the joy of being loved. And you know what? They always are.

this is sooo true

We dream of fairytale endings with our prince fighting the dragon and the evil witch.

But in reality, sometimes the prince simply makes the princess fall in love, then the princess will do all the fighting... ='(

Don't you Quit!

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but
DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver lining of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit...
It's when things seem worst that youMUST NOT QUIT!!

You + Me = WE

It seems like forever
that i have waited for you
in a world of disappointment
one thing is true
God has blessed me
and He has blessed you too
In a world of lonely people
I found you.

Take my hand
and hold me close
and don't let me go
you for me and me for you
together we'll make "We"

We were once strangers
all by ourselves
living, living alone
with no one else
but here we are
and it's so, so sweet
God must have done this
...made you for me

we were always sleeping
dreaming, dreaming some love
wondering where you are
how blessed I am
that I've found you
Now that you're here
I pray us to say " i do".

Where's the Ending?

Sometimes the hardest thing to admit is not that we have been wrong, but that we miss or need someone that is no longer part of our life. I feel like you just don't need me anymore

Over two months have passed without so much as a word. It has been hard for me to adjust to life without my "friend", but I have done it. I could not ignore him as much as I tried. I felt my neck stiffen as he approached. "Hi, ...how are you? It's good to see you." There it was. Just like that he was completely ignoring the events of two months ago. I stood there stiff and emotionless. I looked at the floor and mumbled I was fine and then moved to the other side of the room. I could not help think how dare he be so nice to me. To me the greatest insult to our friendship is to ignore that anything went wrong. I have to wonder why this is so hard. I had a friend tell me this morning I need to just let go and stop dwelling on it. Perhaps that is true, but I know me. I don't work that way. I need closure. I need to know how and why. I need an ending to the story. I don't even want an apology. I just want a why. I don't think that is too much to ask.

Thief

everything happened in just a blink of an eye...you came with the wind to blow away my pain. you came at the right time when no one wanted to pick me up in the garden to take me home and make me their own.

like a thief in the night you came to take all my possessions but i couldn't ran after you coz i know they are where they're most wanted and in the safest place i could ever imagine.

and like all the fishes in the ocean, big or small, i took you with me, held you tight coz you're worth a good catch.

i love you and no distance shall wither that...you may be so far apart from me but i am sure i can entrust you my heart.

B left

alone again.... i'm wondering why do people came into my life and leave me just hanging here... I have no clue whatsoever of what happened to "us"... he just shuts the door and left me... I thought we we're friends and yet his neglecting me..."just when i learned to love him, he left me without saying a word".. its so sayang.. he didn't even give me a chance to know him better... Things happen so fast but the agony is still here in my heart.. I am lonely and depressed, i'm still crying each day and night with the thought of him.. I love him and to all honestly i'm dying just to be in his arms again... I don't deserve this I didn't do anything to him.. I just loved him..