too much wondering!

I always wonder if there is really someone that’s

meant for each one of us. You would always hear

them say, someone is dreaming of you somewhere

out there, just as you are dreaming of this

person you are yet to meet. Well, personally I

don’t know if I should believe this. Umm, maybe

partly. I mean, not that I am holding on to this

thought. I can’t also say whether I’m a hopeless

romantic or what. But with the things that I used

to hear, and with the knowledge that I know about

it.. I just can’t tell. Laughs! I’m not really an

expert when it comes to matters of heart but my

friends would always say I’m like “Dyosa ng Love

Quotes and Payos”, Answering Machine, and all

that. They say I seem to know a lot from these

when I talk like I am saying, "been-there, done-

that" But on the contrary, no. Definitely no,

especially when talking to experiences. And hey,

did I mention that I belong to this federation

GBGID (Goodbye Girl I’m Done)? Haha! Believe it or

not but in my 29 years never did I feel how it is

to be really in love. Or shall I say to be really LOVED..

I mean, I don’t even know the

feeling coz I would always hesitate. When I’m

aware that I’m going to fall further I tend to

hold back. And I don’t know why.

It’s tough to pretend you don’t feel the stigma

of being single in a society that seems to

celebrate coupledom. All around you

the "marrieds" have their family-full lives and

constant companionship, and there you are— in

full Ally McBeal-ish spinster splendor.

On the other hand, I can’t deny the fact that

it’s good to be single. Nothing to worry about,

having your freedom and all, and just plainly

having the time of your life.

And by the way, I don’t see myself getting

married. Of course I believe in marriage but I

don’t think that’s my scene. Maybe it has

something to do with my being realistic. And

realization sometimes is right there in front of

you. To see those marriages turned into nothing,

the next thing you know you’re an urban legend.

But just in case I get to realize that I would

rather swallow it all and enter into something

with a lot of uncertainties at stake than to

forever live alone that’s more miserable, maybe,

just maybe, I would have to reconsider it.

According to Ally McBeal, never settle with

someone who you think is just the ONLY ONE and

not THE ONE. Marry someone who does make your

heart bounce. But what if you’re not lucky enough

like some people who get the chance to choose the

person they would want to spend the rest of their

lives with? What would you do when the time comes

you feel like having a family of your own

yet, "Dammit! He’s the only one out there who

wants to be with me" Would you rather take it or

hold on to the thought that some people are

really meant to be alone?

Anyway, I know I’m too young to think about it.

I’m not afraid tracking down by myself either.

But at least just to experience how it is to be

loved and in-love.. Whatever! All I can say is

whoever that f**king someone is, he should be

the one who would make or break me, and who

wouldn't just rock my bed but also my

WORLD!

~ALLY McBEAL~