WORDS WOMEN USE

:: FINE ::
This is the word women use to end an argument
when they feel they are right and you need to shut
up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman
looks - this will cause you to have one of those
arguments.

:: FIVE MINUTES ::
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last
before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

:: NOTHING ::
This means "something," and you should be on
your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe
the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"
usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and end with 'Fine.'

:: GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) ::
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over Nothing and will end with the
word "Fine."

:: GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) ::
This means "I give up" or "do what you want
because I don't care." You will get a "Raised
Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed
by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in
about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

:: LOUD SIGH ::
This is not actually a word, but is a onverbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

:: SOFT SIGH ::
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft
Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is
to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

:: THAT'S OKAY ::
This is one of the most dangerous statements that
a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay"
means that she wants to think long and hard
before paying you back for whatever it is that you
have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the
word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
Eyebrow".

:: GO AHEAD ::
At some point in the near future, you are going to
be in some mighty big trouble.

:: PLEASE DO ::
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
giving you the chance to come up with whatever
excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is
that you have done. You have a fair chance with
the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get
a "That's Okay."

:: THANKS ::
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say
you're welcome.

:: THANKS A LOT ::
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will
say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off
at you. It signifies that you have offended her in
some callous way, and will be followed by
the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is
wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell
you "Nothing".