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Monday, January 21, 2008

Dad got home

My dad got home from his work today. And when I saw him I saw disappointment in his face. I am so humiliated that i just give him a timid smile. I know what my dad is thinking he is thinking that he is a failure in the fathering aspects of his life; raising his family alone. Its very hard for him because he is the only breadwinner in the family and almost everyone in the family depended on him financially especially me, being his first born, a graduate and a licensed nurse who is still a bum. Yes. A bum. That's a fact and a sad truth. He is expecting everyone to helped out but almost everyone just sits down and doesn't bother about their own future. On my part I can't do anything. I've tried looking for a job and yet up to now I haven't heard from the HRD of some hospitals that I applied. Oh hell.. Sooner or later I will end up in a call center because I don't have a choice. I have to work or I'll starved and grasped my way to survival. I've been a bum for a year now and its now the time to take in charge of my life and search my place in this world. There are times that I'm giving up and yet I'm still here. Maybe God has a plan for me. I just can't see and figure what it is. As for now, during my free time I do blog to pour down my emotions and somehow earns profit from it. I am now earning through google Thank God. But I haven't got the money yet because it need to reach a 100usd just to encash it. I am still searching for other options to earn money just to help myself.

To my dad,
I am sorry if I failed you. I didn't mean to. I wanna thank you for everything. I will give back to you and to our family everything that you did for me once I got my chance in the world. I promised myself not to get married until I've given you what i truly desire for our family to have. A decent home, a small business, and a happy and relaxing retirement for you and mom. I love you dad. I hope God will continue to bless you because you were such a blessing to us and to others that you have helped. be strong and take good care of yourself..

-your daughter

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